Monday, September 22, 2008

Baby Sleep Book

Having read Ferber, Sears, and everyone in between, I have decided to publish and market my very own How-to-get-your-kid-to-sleep book. I envision that it will be between 500-1000 pages, hardback.

The pages will be blank. When you want your kid to sleep, you thwack them on the head and knock them unconscious. 100% effective in less than 1 minute! No cry-it-out, just lights out. The end.


Just kidding ya'll. I'm just delirious from not sleeping. People who hit kids are going to hell.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

There's nothing wrong with having just one child.

I'm just sayin'.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Falling Behind

Okay so I keep up with the news, with parenting trends, with my friends (sometimes), with local stuff in town (though I can never attend), but I cannot keep up with technology.

Itunes is not my friend. I've had a shuffle now for almost a month with nothing on it. I've killed my laptop battery. I do not safely eject flash drives, I just yank them out. We can't figure out how to disconnect the alarm in the new house, so it beeps randomly at midnight, 6 am, and we have to get up and turn manually stop it.

My uncle (almost 70) asked me the other day what I thought of the new Microsoft OS. I had no response. So, I'd heard of it (because like I said, I keep up with business news) but never seen it. Now he thinks I'm a Luddite too! I've bought several domain names but couldn't figure out how to develop them, much less host them, much less do anything else with them. This blog is all I have *sniff*

Case in point: I was out of the office for a while, and my secretary forwarded my phone to my cell, which I had forgotten to do. I stopped into the Austin office of my firm, and called into check my voice mail. As I am doing this, my cell phone rings and it's an unidentified Austin number. I can't handle two phones at once, so after a moment of deliberation, I hung up on my voicemail. Apparently I didn't move fast enough, and I missed the call on my cell. So I called the number back and, at the same time, my office phone started ringing. Argh.

I picked up the office phone while my cell phone was still connecting to the unidentified number, and guess what? I was talking to myself. I hadn't called my voicemail box, I had called my office phone, which routed to my cell phone. I had hung up on myself and called myself back. Confused? So was I.