He's been taking a few steps between chairs... then he started walking to whomever he wanted to pick him up, usually breaking out into a run and falling, but today he got into this positive feedback loop of not falling, which built his confidence, which made him practice more, which made fall less, and you get the idea.
Yay! I have to go buy him some shoes now...
or maybe not. Barefooters Unite!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
The Inverse Power of Praise
This article in New York Magazine called "The Inverse Power of Praise" should be required reading for parents and teachers. A group of studies found that students who are praised for being intelligent tend to quit whenever things get tough, whereas students who are praised for their effort become more persistent when faced with difficult challenges.
At first it seems like a small difference, to say "You really worked hard at this!" vs. "You're so smart!" but the effects of praising a child's intelligence and pegging him as a "smart kid" actually holds him back from acheiving his true potential.
As an aside, why don't we focus on well-rounded, emotionally and physically healthy kids? Grades are not the beginning and the end of a child's world and self-worth. Well-rounded to South Asian parents means that your child is the spelling bee champion, science fair winner AND a math whiz. Sports and scouting are of limited value, and even a negative value to given to drama, music, art, and various after-school clubs. In our South Asian community, the problem is just as pronounced, if not worse, than in others. Desi parents want their children to be brainiacs. They expect (demand?) that their child a star student.
We all want our children to feel well, to be well, and to do well in life. We spend alot of time participating in their education, choosing the school, providing the right structure at home, encouraging htem to seek out new and different opportunities, because we want them to succeed at whatever it is they want to do in life. But by praising them as gifted, as super-smart, above their peers, A+, etc., we are setting them up for an eventual crisis in confidence and lack of stick-to-it-tiveness that is really the measure of one's character.
At first it seems like a small difference, to say "You really worked hard at this!" vs. "You're so smart!" but the effects of praising a child's intelligence and pegging him as a "smart kid" actually holds him back from acheiving his true potential.
As an aside, why don't we focus on well-rounded, emotionally and physically healthy kids? Grades are not the beginning and the end of a child's world and self-worth. Well-rounded to South Asian parents means that your child is the spelling bee champion, science fair winner AND a math whiz. Sports and scouting are of limited value, and even a negative value to given to drama, music, art, and various after-school clubs. In our South Asian community, the problem is just as pronounced, if not worse, than in others. Desi parents want their children to be brainiacs. They expect (demand?) that their child a star student.
We all want our children to feel well, to be well, and to do well in life. We spend alot of time participating in their education, choosing the school, providing the right structure at home, encouraging htem to seek out new and different opportunities, because we want them to succeed at whatever it is they want to do in life. But by praising them as gifted, as super-smart, above their peers, A+, etc., we are setting them up for an eventual crisis in confidence and lack of stick-to-it-tiveness that is really the measure of one's character.
Milestones part 1
I realized I better start writing this down before I forget completely
Rolled over/sat up - 5 months (I think... I really can't remember.)
Army crawled on this tummy - 8 months
Crawled like a "normal" baby - 11 months
Said hot, up, mama, bacaca (broccoli), PUCKABOO- started at 11 months, continued for about 90 days straight
Asks for Coco - every day starting at about 12 months
Said "Papa" when I pointed to Muslim Dad - April 12
Bear crawled - 13 months
Took a few steps at random - 14 months
By 14 months, he has added to his vocabulary: park, car, down, vakoooom, batoooom, corn, mamoo, oma(r), bath, abar (as in Allahu Akbar), and go
Rolled over/sat up - 5 months (I think... I really can't remember.)
Army crawled on this tummy - 8 months
Crawled like a "normal" baby - 11 months
Said hot, up, mama, bacaca (broccoli), PUCKABOO- started at 11 months, continued for about 90 days straight
Asks for Coco - every day starting at about 12 months
Said "Papa" when I pointed to Muslim Dad - April 12
Bear crawled - 13 months
Took a few steps at random - 14 months
By 14 months, he has added to his vocabulary: park, car, down, vakoooom, batoooom, corn, mamoo, oma(r), bath, abar (as in Allahu Akbar), and go
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