Muslim Mom

Remedy for a sore butt

2009-01-09T21:33:00.001-08:00

We don't say boo-boo. We refer to body parts. It's the Montessori way, and I think boo-boo sounds ridiculous. I want my kid to say "My stomach hurts" or "I fell on my knee" not "I got a boo boo." And boys get hurt alot, so the Baboo knows all of his body parts.

A few weeks ago he was not looking where he was running (literally, his neck was at a 90 degree angle to the directional component of his velocity - it was a really strange sight, and you should try it sometime when you're in an open field) and he ran right into the sofa. The side of his face impacted a rather soft part of the sofa, resulting in a pretty decent bounce (you could almost here the -boiiiiing-) and then he skidded backwards on his bottom like a NBA player seeking a call.

So I went over to pre-empt the [fake] crying and kiss his cheek. A quick kiss, then the Baboo quickly stood up and took a couple of steps. Mission accomplished, I thought, and I stood to get back to whatever I was doing.

"Butt," the Baboo said, putting his hands on his lower back/upper butt.

"Yes." I said, deciding at that very moment that would be the official name of that body part. "That is your butt."

"Butt," he said again.

"Yes." I wasn't even listening. Mentally, I was picking out his clothes. It was morning, and there's a million things to do in the morning before I can even brush my teeth.

"Kiss it."

My first reaction wasn't to laugh or be annoyed, it was - how do I get out of this? What's my REASON for not kissing the butt and how do I explain this in a way that doesn't make him think about toileting or worse yet, that there's something wrong with what he said, and why that might be, and what the difference is and I'm not ready for this-- "NO," I said, and I really meant No to the panic of thoughts in my head, but the Baboo took it as NO I am not going to kiss your butt, and I guess it wasn't hurting that much by then anyway, so he went off to play with his wooden train.

Why is my 2 year old winning the battle of wills?

2009-01-09T21:24:00.000-08:00

I have more discipline than him. I have more logic in my head than he does. I have more foresight to think about the consequences of giving in to his short-term needs. I am older, smarter, wiser, bigger, and more resourceful. I know what's better for him.

So why is he winning the battle of wills?

And maybe that phrase is throwing me off. He teacher said he's just being "willful" - which is the essence of being 2. He realizes he can choose and he wants to do what he wants to do, not because he really wants to do it, but just to see if he can. Do you want to go to the potty? No. And then - 20 seconds later - pee. Everywhere.

But is just wanting to test his limits? Or is he operating on pure instinct/desire: GIVE ME THAT. PICK ME UP. DON'T GO. I WANT BOTTLE. He commands and we obey. What the hell is going on here?

He's not smarter than me, is he? Because he sure gets his way alot.

Potty Training and Getting to School on Time

2008-11-10T15:54:00.000-08:00

**This is the letter I wrote to the Baboo's teacher today explaining why we were late today. Potty training is a group effort between the Baboo, his parents, his Nani, and his wonderful Montessori Guide, Amanda. Today was the Baboo's first diaperless day at school.**

Hi Amanda,

Good news - Some time after his nap, [the Baboo] told my mom "poop!" at which point she rushed him over to the potty and he did his thing. He napped with his diaper on, and he's had it on part of the day, but used the toilet for urination when he was put there.

I did not get to tell you the full story of why we were late this morning.

the first urination -- sitting on the potty, but he held his penis like a water hose and got pee all over the floors & walls. He doesn't usually do that, I don't know why he did it. Just curious, I think. Even after he put it under the cup attachment, he wanted to hold on to it.

the b.m. -- after his fountain experience, I left him to do a bowel movement because I didn't want him messing his underwear on his very first diaperless day in school. I thought that would be embarrassing for him and would set him back. But we were running out of time, so eventually I had to take him off the potty so we wouldn't be late...

which is when he peed the second time! and then I had to clean him up, change his socks, underwear and pants, and then I put him back on the potty because I thought he might do a b.m. (since he clearly wasn't finished the first time). He didn't do anything, so I brought him in.

So apologies for bringing him late, I was making some tough calls this morning and trying to do the right thing.

Being a Pain in the Neck Patient

2008-10-30T15:09:00.000-07:00

Okay, I will confess. We are delaying the Baboo's next round of vaccinations until he is past the two year mark, and the unstated rationale is... the possible link between vaccinations and autism. I could not forego the vaccinations completely; I think that is completely selfish and irresponsible. Not only does skipping the vaccine endanger your child, it endangers all the children in your community. But I have no ethical qualms about postponing the shots and giving the Baboo as much time as possible to develop so that he can heal himself against a potential vaccine injury.

Which is why it annoyed me that his doctor, who KNOWS we are postponing the vaccinations till next year and KNOWS that I did not give him the rotavirus vaccine last year (it's optional, but most doctors push it hard) and that no one in my family gets flu shots - because I don't believe in their efficacy - started pushing me towards a flu shot this year.

I gave in. Why I don't know. Fear that a little flu + his nascent asthma might yield big bad consequences. And since I've previously asked that Baboo's immunizations be preservative free, and I made a big deal about it at the time, I didn't think to ask again.

Boy am I glad that I'm a whiny person! I was telling the nurse how I gave in this time, but that we're waiting on the rest, and she noticed that his Dr. didn't write a script for a preservative free shot. They were going to inject my Baboo with thimerosal! I just about stopped breathing. Do I need to start ordering these shots myself???? Jeez.

Lesson - you can't be too careful or too much of a pain in the neck to your doctor.

Baby Sleep Book

2008-09-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

Having read Ferber, Sears, and everyone in between, I have decided to publish and market my very own How-to-get-your-kid-to-sleep book. I envision that it will be between 500-1000 pages, hardback.

The pages will be blank. When you want your kid to sleep, you thwack them on the head and knock them unconscious. 100% effective in less than 1 minute! No cry-it-out, just lights out. The end.

Just kidding ya'll. I'm just delirious from not sleeping. People who hit kids are going to hell.

There's nothing wrong with having just one child.

2008-09-17T20:48:00.001-07:00

I'm just sayin'.

Falling Behind

2008-09-12T22:09:00.000-07:00

Okay so I keep up with the news, with parenting trends, with my friends (sometimes), with local stuff in town (though I can never attend), but I cannot keep up with technology.

Itunes is not my friend. I've had a shuffle now for almost a month with nothing on it. I've killed my laptop battery. I do not safely eject flash drives, I just yank them out. We can't figure out how to disconnect the alarm in the new house, so it beeps randomly at midnight, 6 am, and we have to get up and turn manually stop it.

My uncle (almost 70) asked me the other day what I thought of Vista. I had no response. So, I'd heard of it (because like I said, I keep up with business news) but never seen it. Now he thinks I'm a Luddite too! I've bought several domain names but couldn't figure out how to develop them, much less host them, much less do anything else with them. This blog is all I have *sniff*

Case in point: I was out of the office for a while, and my secretary forwarded my phone to my cell, which I had forgotten to do. I stopped into the Austin office of my firm, and called into check my voice mail. As I am doing this, my cell phone rings and it's an unidentified Austin number. I can't handle two phones at once, so after a moment of deliberation, I hung up on my voicemal. Apparently I didn't move fast enough, and I missed the call on my cell. So I called the number back and, at the same time, my office phone started ringing. Argh.

I picked up the office phone while my cell phone was still connecting to the unidentified number, and guess what? I was talking to myself. I hadn't called my voicemail box, I had called my office phone, which routed to my cell phone. I had hung up on myself and called myself back. Confused? So was I.

It's not easy being green

2008-08-03T22:31:00.000-07:00

Last night I was going to detail some of the things we are doing in our new home to save energy and benefit the environment, and then I looked around and realized it was close to midnight and all the lights were on. So I turned off the lights, went to bed, and now I've forgotten how I was going to start.

So anyway I bought a few things from solutions.com last night for the house. You may have seen their pages in skymall magazine. These are a few of the things I bought - Each one of these items takes care of a pet peeve of mine.

#82938 HAND FREE PLATE (S/8) $7.99 (half open cans of coke all over the place after a party because no one knows which can belongs to who)

#81492 SOLAR BUGWACKER (S/4) $79.95 (why did God create mosquitos anyway?)

#62641 CHEMFREE BOWL CLEANER 2/$15.90 (no more blue toilet water - it looks and smells toxic)

#5202 BUHACH INSECT POWDER $12.00 (made from flowers and kills bugs. Dead. I really hate bugs. More than abandoned coke cans after a party.)

#61078 SPOT GONE $7.25 (a nontoxic stain and spot remover. We've only owned this house ONE WEEK. We've barely unpacked. The Baboo was in the new house ONE DAY. He found a crayon (I have no idea where it came from) and colored on the carpet. With a crayon.

Why I am a Bad Person, Part 1

2008-07-22T20:55:00.000-07:00

If I could fix just one parenting issue with a magic wand, it would be to get the Baboo to sleep through the night.

If I could fix one more parenting issue with a magic wand, it would be to get the Baboo to eat proper meals at regular intervals. I thought I had it bad, until...

Another Mom was telling me that on many days her child just wouldn't eat OR drink milk all day. I found this hard to believe, until she told me the next part: at the end of the day, she sits her child next to the stove, tells her that it's hot and that she's going to burn her unless she eats. It was clear she was doing this out of sheer desperation.

My first thought: I am SUCH a better mother than you. I would never do that to my Baboo!

And then I felt like a bad person for being so proud of feeling better than her.

My second thought: Really? Even if he hadn't had anything to eat or drink all day and he was hungry and cranky and I knew that just a bottle of milk would make him his happy self again? Would I ever do something that crazy/desperate? I hope not. But... who knows?

And then I felt like a really bad person.

Captain's log, Mother's Day Eve, 2008. He walked.

2008-05-10T21:28:00.000-07:00

He's been taking a few steps between chairs... then he started walking to whomever he wanted to pick him up, usually breaking out into a run and falling, but today he got into this positive feedback loop of not falling, which built his confidence, which made him practice more, which made fall less, and you get the idea.

Yay! I have to go buy him some shoes now...

or maybe not. Barefooters Unite!

The Inverse Power of Praise

2008-04-14T21:15:00.000-07:00

This article in New York Magazine called "The Inverse Power of Praise" should be required reading for parents and teachers. A group of studies found that students who are praised for being intelligent tend to quit whenever things get tough, whereas students who are praised for their effort become more persistent when faced with difficult challenges.

At first it seems like a small difference, to say "You really worked hard at this!" vs. "You're so smart!" but the effects of praising a child's intelligence and pegging him as a "smart kid" actually holds him back from acheiving his true potential.

As an aside, why don't we focus on well-rounded, emotionally and physically healthy kids? Grades are not the beginning and the end of a child's world and self-worth. Well-rounded to South Asian parents means that your child is the spelling bee champion, science fair winner AND a math whiz. Sports and scouting are of limited value, and even a negative value to given to drama, music, art, and various after-school clubs. In our South Asian community, the problem is just as pronounced, if not worse, than in others. Desi parents want their children to be brainiacs. They expect (demand?) that their child a star student.

We all want our children to feel well, to be well, and to do well in life. We spend alot of time participating in their education, choosing the school, providing the right structure at home, encouraging htem to seek out new and different opportunities, because we want them to succeed at whatever it is they want to do in life. But by praising them as gifted, as super-smart, above their peers, A+, etc., we are setting them up for an eventual crisis in confidence and lack of stick-to-it-tiveness that is really the measure of one's character.

Milestones part 1

2008-04-14T20:43:00.000-07:00

I realized I better start writing this down before I forget completely

Rolled over/sat up - 5 months (I think... I really can't remember.)

Army crawled on this tummy - 8 months

Crawled like a "normal" baby - 11 months

Said hot, up, mama, bacaca (broccoli), PUCKABOO- started at 11 months, continued for about 90 days straight

Asks for Coco - every day starting at about 12 months

Said "Papa" when I pointed to Muslim Dad - April 12

Bear crawled - 13 months

Took a few steps at random - 14 months

By 14 months, he has added to his vocabulary: park, car, down, vakoooom, batoooom, corn, mamoo, oma(r), bath, abar (as in Allahu Akbar), and go

Book Review - Baby 411

2008-04-14T20:38:00.000-07:00

In contrast to my earlier review of "What to Expect When You're Expecting", I can't find enough praise for "Baby 411." This book is like having an experienced mom willing to share her secrets and frankly discussing the good, the bad, and the ugly.

For example, lately (like since the Baboo was 3 months old till now) I've been reading everything I can get my hands on relating to How to Get Baby to Sleep. There's 5 methods and most articles objectively present the advantages and disadvantages of each method, leaving it to you, the parent, to figure out which is best for your child.

I guess this is a reasonable approach, but... come on, I've never done this before, and now I'm being asked to choose among 5 doctor-approved methods, all of which are proven to work. Baby 411 condenses the baby sleep information into one chart and then -and this is key - tells you which one to choose. At last. Simple directions.

I think embracing this book is a turning point in my attitude towards parenting: I don't need to be perfect. I don't need to do all the research, ask friends and other parents for advice, check my internet sources, and then implement the correct most up-to-date organic no lead no plastic no TV educational developmentally superior environment for my child. Sure I would if I had unlimited time and energy. But I don't. I just want some sleep.

Of course if that was really true, I would stop reading all these parenting books. But we both know that isn't going to happen.

Book Review - The Boston Childrens' Hospital Guide to Your Child's Growth and Development

2008-02-04T07:44:00.000-08:00

We learned to parent "by the book." This drives Muslim Mom's mom (Muslim Nani?) crazy. Muslim Nani tolerates parenting books, but trusts her instincts. Eventually, you'll find the "right" balance of information from books vs. tried and true advice from experienced family members. From time to time I'll post reviews of books and other written material that we've found helpful.

The Boston Childrens' Hospital Guide to Your Child's Growth and Development was our Bible for the first few months of the Baboo's life. The super long name is the only impractical thing about this book; other than that, it is the owner's manual for your new baby. It assumes you know nothing about children (which was definitely the case for us). The chapters are concise and tell you just what you need to know. There's none of the alarmism of the "What to Expect" series - it's just a friendly reference, an owner's manual if you will.

At a time when everything is new, it helps to be on the same page (literally) as your spouse, so that you don't waste time figuring out day-to-day activities. Don't know what a onesie is? No problem, there's a picture. Don't know how to burp a baby - there's diagrams! Easy to read, with a great index and a CPR page that we've bookmarked... just in case. This book has it all.

Mom's Groups

2007-12-12T20:35:00.000-08:00

Since most of us are not living in the proverbial village that is supposed to be helping us raise our children, the internet is a great resource for referrals, tips, tricks, and generally finding out about "best practices" for raising kids. In every major metropolitan city, moms have gotten together and formed their own online communities.

Here in Washington, dcurbanmoms.com hosts bulleting boards on everything from travel tips to pediatrician recommendations to discussions on nanny benefit plans. We found our OBGYN through dcurbanmoms.com, and also our first (and last -but that's another post) nanny.

Look up the "moms" site where you live. In addition to candid information about doctors, schools, and local parenting activities to seek out / stay away from, it's a great place to find out what kids in your area are doing and arrange playdates.

Alien in the Locker Room

2007-10-16T18:23:00.000-07:00

So we watched Aliens in America at the cw's website (we don't really have a TV to speak of, but that's a different post altogether). It's a great show - funny, doesn't make you think too hard, promotes a message of tolerance, yadda, yadda, yadda. It's America's wry and snarky answer to the cheesefest that is Little Mosque on the Prarie. If you thought Yasser's wife pinching his butt in the mosque was risque, just wait till you see what the bullies at Medora High do when Raja expresses his sincere love for his new best friend, Justin.

Aside from the glaring errors now and then --Raja? a Pakistani muslim named Raja? Who walks around butt nekkid in the boys' locker room at school?-- it's as enjoyable as Everybody Hates Chris. It's no Gilmore Girls or South Park (are you getting a clue why we don't have a TV anymore) but its definitely on my Monday night viewing schedule for the next few weeks. Actually, it's not - we can watch online anytime!!

Book Review - Baby 411

2007-10-07T08:28:00.001-07:00

In contrast to my earlier review of "What to Expect When You're Expecting," I can't find enough praise for "Baby 411." This book is like having an experienced mom willing to share her secrets and frankly discussing the good, the bad, and the ugly.

For example, lately (like since the Baboo was 3 months old till now) I've been reading everything I can get my hands on relating to How to Get Baby to Sleep. There's 5 methods and most articles objectively present the advantages and disadvantages of each method, leaving it to you, the parent, to figure out which is best for your child.

I guess this is a reasonable approach, but... come on, I've never done this before, and now I'm being asked to choose among 5 doctor-approved methods, all of which are proven to work. Baby 411 condenses the information into one chart and then tells you which one to choose. I think my acceptance of this book is a turning point in my attitude towards parenting: I don't need to be perfect. I don't need to do all the research, ask friends and other parents for advice, check my internet sources, and then implement the correct most up-to-date organic no lead no plastic no TV educational developmentally superior environment for my child. Sure I would if I had unlimited time and energy. But I don't. I just want some sleep.

How not to Throw Up

2007-10-05T19:35:00.000-07:00

This is part of a special series devoted to the pregnant and unprepared.

(1) Press the inside of your wrist. There is a pressure point known to give relief 2 inches above (away from your hand) the crease on the inner aspect of the wrist. Seabands look dorky and don't work as well as your own thumbs (which never get lost).

(2) Ginger. I recommend smelling it (cut a fresh root) or drinking it (tea), not eating it, though I suppose any of the above might work. Also, Badger makes a high quality lip and body balm that you can apply right under your nose. This is now available at some drugstores, and definitely at Whole Foods or drugstore.com.

(3) Jolly ranchers. Preggie pops are just overpriced oversized oversweet jolly ranchers. Stick with the original.

(4) Eat fruit and drink water. It just goes down easy. There will be plenty of time for meat in the later trimesters.

(5) Get your vitamins from nutrition bars or childrens chewable vitamins (a few stores have chewable vitamins without gelatin, for example, Trader Joes's brand chewables). This way you can avoid the enormous prenatal pills, which are really gag-inducing after a point.

(6) Deep breaths. Use in combination with the pressure points.

Got a favorite remedy? Please add in the comments section!

Essential Baby Gear

2007-10-05T19:26:00.000-07:00

There are a few items that friends have recommended to me that are just lifesavers. Also, my friends tend to do alot of research before buying baby gear, so I get to piggyback off their work. Now you can too. Here are a few of their (and my) favorite things for Year One.

Graco (or Baby Trend) Snap'n'Go - it's much lighter than the all-in-one travel systems. Not to mention way cheaper. You'll have to get a front-facing one when baby gets older.

Graco car seat - adorn the inside handle with stickers from the pediatrician's office. You will thank yourself later. Don't forget your take-along tether (see post of September 2007).

Graco Bassinet - like the one pictured, but get the one with an underneath storage basket.

Boppy with Cover

Baby Bjorn, along with a bib to keep the carrier dry and clean under baby's chin.

Baby's Bliss Grip Water (Very important!!)

Baby nail clippers and file - and don't forget to check baby's nails when you get home from the hospital.

Fisher Price Kick'n'Play Infant Seat

Medela Pump in Style - take it to the hospital with you, just in case.

Fisher Price Healthy Care booster seat - you won't need this till later, when he can sit on his own, but it's a great spacesaver, easy to take to restaurants, and eliminates the need for a highchair. Also, it teaches kids to sit still when they are eating (I hope!).

Gerber 100% cotton footed pajamas. They come in three-packs at Target and your kid will live in these for the first three months.

Munchkin bottle rack, bottle brush, dishwasher basket, formula travel container

An exersaucer and an automatic swing are also items to consider.

Also, it's definitely not essential, but the Kiddopotamus snuzzler for the car seat would be a good idea if your newborn will spend alot of time in his or her car seat.

Order the biggest box of Size N diapers from Amazon - it's a great price and ships for free!

Repeat for bigger sizes as baby grows. Have at least 100 Size N diapers ready when you come home from the hospital. That'll last you about 2 weeks if you're lucky.

It can crawl!

2007-09-27T17:37:00.000-07:00

Last Friday the Baboo went mobile. He just started his 8th month, so he's within the normal range. I suspect he's had the ability for some time, the trick was finding the motivation. Sippy cup, toys, bottle, nothing we placed in front of him gave him the desire to propel forward.

But last Friday we found his weakness: dixie cups!

Eczema (an article dedicated to all the itchy babies out there)

2007-09-21T20:27:00.000-07:00

For those of you fortunate enough to have eluded this prevalent disease, eczema is a skin condition commonly known as the “itch that rashes”. It’s itchy, it’s painful, it’s stubborn, and it’s ugly. Once your pediatrician or family doctor has diagnosed your child with eczema, it’s important to know what steps to take in order to alleviate your child’s suffering.

First
1) Use perfume-free, dye-free detergents and soaps on your child’s clothing, bedding, and skin.

2) Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize! I like to tell moms that the child should be slippery and glistening because there’s so much moisturizer on their skin. I know parents think it’s gross and unattractive for their child to be greasy, but if your first priority is the child’s comfort, make sure they’re moisturized well. Since lotions are frequently alcohol or water based they evaporate from the skin quickly; try to use creams or better yet, petroleum jelly products when possible. I know parents that have even used Crisco!

3) Bathe them. Some of you who might have been told to avoid daily baths in order to further prevent drying out the skin. The truth is that bathing in lukewarm water for a brief period (less than 5 minutes) helps remove offending agents and introduces moisture to aggravated skin. Applying moisturizers immediately after bathing while the child is still wet helps to seal in some of the moisture.

4) Avoid wool and synthetic materials. Cotton is best for these children.

Second
1) If basic measures such as avoiding offending agents and applying moisturizer do not work, then your physician will likely prescribe a steroid cream/lotion/or ointment. Know that not all steroids are the same- even the same name will have a different potency depending on whether or not it is a lotion (least potent), a cream (medium potency), or an ointment (highest potency). Do not exceed the recommended duration of application because steroids can thin and discolor the skin and can be absorbed in the bloodstream. Also, steroids should be used on the face sparingly.

2) Food allergies are becoming increasingly linked to eczema. Should you suspect that your child’s flare-ups are tied to introduction of certain foods, talk to your physician about allergy testing (if your child is old enough) or simply food avoidance.

3) Sometime eczema is resistant to the therapies listed above, because the skin is infected, usually with a common bacteria like Staphylococcus aureus. If the lesions appear “wet”, meaning weeping and oozing with excessive redness or pustules, the skin may be infected. In this case, either topical or oral antibiotics may be used to clear the infection. Unfortunately, it is the case that some children are colonized with these bacteria, making their skin even more prone to infection. In such cases, some physicians will recommend bleach baths. DO NOT DO THIS WITHOUT CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS FROM YOUR PHYSICIAN!

4) Immunomodulators are among the newest therapies for eczema. Known on the market as Elidel and Protopic, these drugs effectively treat eczema without the use of steroids. However, because they suppress certain parts of the immune system, the FDA is concerned about an increased risk to lymphoma and has therefore issued a “black-box warning”. As with all drugs, use these drugs judiciously and only when necessary.

5) UV light therapy is also recommended by a few dermatologists. It’s expensive and used only on older patients with more resistant forms of eczema.

If you find you’ve hit a roadblock with your pediatrician, consider consulting a pediatric dermatologist or allergist. Be persistent and patient and you will help your child.

Write a Will!!

2007-09-19T18:47:00.000-07:00

If you have a kid -- you need to write a will.

The chances that something will happen to you are tiny, small, remote. But the consequences for your child are ENORMOUS if you do not have a will. Yes, you're young and you don't think about these things (or you don't like to...) but wouldn't you rather decide who would be your child's guardian rather than leave it to the state?

The Baboo is 8 months old and we're finally getting around to this really important matter. I bought Quicken's "Willmaker" software from nolo.com and it took less than 20 minutes to go through the prompts. So now I have an unsigned will saved as a word document. Thanks to the software, it's valid under Texas law, and now I just have to figure out how to Islamicize it. In the meantime, though, I am going to print it out and sign it. Better to have an imperfect will than no will at all.

When I figure out how to Islamicize it, I'll update this post and let you know what we decided to do.

Halal Baby Food

2007-09-18T18:30:00.001-07:00

Update - this post only covers sources for halal baby food, not organic halal, which is not currently available in the US.

Before you introduce your child to meat, it is relatively easy to feed him or her cereal, vegetables and fruit, so halal becomes an issue when they are around 7 months of age. Gerber makes a great selection of veggies and fruits in handy reusable (though I don't know if Gerber intended them to be resuable) plastic cups with lids.

Once your child is ready for meat, there are three potential sources for halal baby food, and each is more expensive than the last. Don't delay feeding your child meat without consulting a pediatrician to make sure his nutritional needs (especially with respect to iron and protein) are being met.

(1) The cheapest and safest way to feed your child halal is to make it yourself. Very few butchers sell organic halal meat. You can enter organic as a keyword at zabihah.com for a list of grocers. Organic kosher meat is easier to come by. If you don't choose organic meat, avoid cold cuts, hot dogs, and other meats high in nitrates. Boil, mash well, and mix with mashed rice or other vegetables.

(2) Nature's Noor - this Detroit based company is defunct. Online references are out of date.

(3) Mumtaz - Not organic, but halal. "For Mums who care." This UK based company is selling their products in the UK at many Boots locations, and we also found it for sale in Lahore, Pakistan. They offer two lamb and two chicken meals. Twelve pounds buys twelve assorted jars (veg and non-veg), but assuming you only want non-veg, then for ten pounds you can buy twelve jars of one meat flavor. They are finalizing distributions agreements in the US and Canada. I'll report more once it becomes available on this side of the pond. Visit their website here.

(4) Petit Gems - Not organic, but halal. This company is also based in the UK, but they didn't answer their phone when I called. Read more about them at their website.

If you choose organic, not-halal meat, then try Earth's Best brand. It's available at grocery stores and in bulk at Babies R Us, and gets great reviews from my friend's toddler. You can find Earth's Best close to you using their store locator.

Baby Gear - Take-Along Tether

2007-09-06T20:04:00.000-07:00

5 stars! The best piece of baby gear you won't find in a store, the Take-Along Tether is something only a mother could invent.

The Baboo isn't old enough to really throw his stuffed monkeys and plastic car keys to the floor, but he does fumble now and then, and this fabric covered elastic invention keeps them from hitting the ground or getting lost in the car. It can accommodate all kinds of sizes and shapes, from a teething ring to a feeding spoon and so far the quality has held up great. I haven't come across anything yet that this thing can't hold on to. We have one attached to the Baboo's car seat and another to his stroller. When he drops his toy from his hand, it is such a relief not to have to find it on the car floor while he screams.

The Take-Along Tether is available at a few retailers in Florida, Georgia and California, but I suggest you buy online; the site is pay pal enabled. We met the inventor, Jennifer Spencer, at a baby fair in Grapevine, TX. She was nice as could be and is thrilled to have created a product that makes a mom's life easier. I could tell she was recommending it to us not to make a sale, but as a genuine one-parent-to-another recommendation. To put a spin on the old adage, this invention is a mother's necessity.

Act One - Cue Baby

2007-09-06T19:49:00.000-07:00

The Kennedy Center, last Saturday night. Cue the lights at the Family Theater. A young man in an untucked dress shirt and jeans sits at on a stool on an empty stage. His name is Josh Lefkowitz, and he writes and performs monologues about life, love, poetry, and other such things.

This show is called Now What? and Josh is giving us a sneak preview before his world premiere next month. Taking a draw of water from the glass next to him, he refills the glass from the pitcher, sets them both on the tabe next to the stool, and begins his monologue.

He is talking about the relationship between his life and his writing and how, because his writing and performing is autobiographical in nature, he is often confronted with the tension between living in the moment and chronicling life events for use as "material." His monologue goes something like this: "As I gaze into Annika's eyes, eating the slize of pizza, feeling that things were Perfect, a voice is whispering in the back of my head, over and over, and it's saying... "

"BWAAAAAAAH!" screams the Baboo. Yes, my Baboo. My Baboo who had been silent all day.

But of course Josh's inner voice was not saying BWAAAAAAH. It was saying "Maybe you should write about this." Which makes alot more sense, if you think about it.

Josh Lefkowitz took a bow and playfully(?) said "Good night, thank you for coming!" and pretended(?) to exit the stage. Muslim Dad, who had the Baboo strapped to his chest in a Baby Bjorn really did exit, and walked around outside the theater for the remainder of the show. In the Baboo's defense, it was his first monologue.

When I was pregnant, several moms mentioned to me that I should go see a movie or two because it would be my last visit to the movies for many months if not years. Why didn't I realize this advice applied to all the performing arts? A lesson not soon forgotten.

Book Review - What to Expect When You're Expecting

2007-09-05T19:25:00.001-07:00

Don't be fooled by the zen soccer-mom-in-waiting in the fuzzy yellow sweater looking up from her rocking chair on the cover of this book - this is NOT "The pregnancy guide that reassuringly answers the concerns of mothers- and fathers-to-be..." Yes, it is probably the best-selling pregnancy guide ever, and yes, millions and millions of copies have been sold, and yes, you're probably going to go out and buy it despite this review, but that's just the madness isn't it?

The problem with this guide is that it's not reassuring at all. It's information overload. At first, I read and re-read this book every night with great care, careful to read the chapter that related to my week of pregnancy, to review the week before, and preview the week to come. By the middle of pregnancy, I was using it as a reference guide, which was a much saner approach. (I suggest having a friend RIP OUT the labor and delivery chapters - they are frightening and completely exaggerated-- especially if you're planning to have an epidural.)

That brings us to the enduring criticism of this book - and it's become a popular book to slam: it is too clinical and too focused on symptoms, unlikely diseases, and things that you should not do/eat (which can be scary if you read about it after the doing/eating that is restricted). This criticism is true. I would just caution you not to dwell too long on the different restrictions and diseases described in the book. Read enough to satisfy yourself that you know what's normal and what's not, and then let your instincts be your guide. They said in my labor class that knowledge overcomes fear, and while that's B.S. when it comes to delivery, I think in the case of pregnancy, it's a good principle.

(All of the important you really need to know can be found at babycenter.com. I highly encourage you to sign up for their weekly updates, which continue after the baby is born. I'll write a review of babycenter.com in another post.)

As a new parent -and you start acting and thinking like a new parents from the moment you learn you are pregnant- you err on the side of caution. No blue cheese, no fast driving, no caffeine, no concerts (secondhand smoke), no unnecessary risks.

Oh - um - most of those "don'ts" in the last paragraph are things that I learned in from this book. To its credit, it does offer comprehensive guide of what's permitted during pregnancy and what's not, and it also has a fantastic week by week description of your fetus' development. It has a diet plan, an exercise plan, and a whole lot more useless information, which you can skip over as long as you get the general idea: eat well and exercise.

If you really need hand-holding to understand your emotions during pregnancy or cope with frequent urination, then I guess this will guide will be a great companion for you. If, on the other hand, you kind of already knew that pregnancy would make you tearful, and that the key to handling frequent urges is to go to the bathroom more often, you'll probably do just fine without this book.

Welcome!

2007-09-04T19:07:00.000-07:00

Welcome! or, The Birth of this Blog

I was surprised that I could not find more resources for new Muslim Moms online, so I decided to create my own. As the proud parent of a new son, we have lots of questions, a few answers, and a desire to connect with other parents, Muslim and non-Muslim, trying to raise their children to be healthy and happy human beings.

As our baby boy (the Baboo) becomes a big boy, I - with the everpresent input from Muslim Dad, my husband - will cover the ups and downs, the good, the bad, and the poopy.

Of course, there's always the chance that I might just decide to rant on the headlines of the day...